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CAUSE OF DEATH

PoopCheck: A Premature Expulsion from Markets

Here we observe a specimen so newborn it hadn't yet drawn its first breath of market air. With 99.2% of its genetic material concentrated in merely ten alpha predators and zero liquidity to sustain even the most modest transaction, PoopCheck experienced what naturalists call 'instant extinction'—a fate typically reserved for creatures far less deserving of our mockery.

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