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Lil Onion: A Tear-Jerker's Brief Existence

Here we observe the Lil Onion, a specimen so perfectly constructed for failure that one suspects intelligent design—specifically, the design of ensuring rapid wealth transfer. Born mere hours ago with all the liquidity of a desert well and concentration rivaling a North Korean election, this token achieved the remarkable feat of dying before it could properly live. A 173% price swing on $154 of volume suggests either a miracle or nine shareholders playing the most expensive game of musical chairs ever documented.