CAUSE OF DEATH
Infant Token Expires Before Naptime Concludes
Here we observe Betty Black, a mere hour-old specimen that achieved the remarkable feat of hemorrhaging 26.9% of its value before breakfast. Despite noble intentions—revoked authorities, respectable volume—the creature was fatally weakened by its top ten holders clutching over half the supply, a parasite load no newborn can survive. Nature, it seems, abhors both a vacuum and a poorly distributed token.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Acute concentration toxicity in infancy
EPITAPH
"She was born on a Tuesday, dead by lunchtime—a perfectly ordinary Solana story."
