CAUSE OF DEATH
Infant Token Gasps Final Breath in Record Time
In a remarkable display of evolutionary failure, this peculiarly-named specimen achieved what most would consider a full lifecycle collapse within a single rotation of Earth. The creature never learned to walk—instead, it stumbled spectacularly from the womb, hemorrhaging nine percent of its meager existence in mere hours, a cautionary tale of premature launch and insufficient vertebral development.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Simultaneous wealth concentration and hemorrhagic price collapse
EPITAPH
"Born at noon, dead by dinner—a fitting monument to the hubris of pump-and-dump schemes conducted on a blockchain."
