CAUSE OF DEATH
Father Time Dies Before Its First Birthday
In a remarkable display of temporal irony, Father Time has expired before experiencing a single rotation of Earth—a newborn stillborn into the Solana ecosystem. Three holders clutched their worthless tokens like pallbearers at their own funeral, watching $1,171 of daily volume dissipate into the ether. The creature never drew breath; it merely gasped once and perished.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Acute liquidity evaporation and concentrated ownership collapse
EPITAPH
"It lived zero hours and still managed to waste everyone's time."
