CAUSE OF DEATH
Diamond Hands Crumbles to Dust in Sixty Minutes
We observe here a peculiar specimen of the *Pumperus and Dumpicus* genus, born merely an hour ago with all the hallmarks of longevity—revoked authorities, modest liquidity—yet somehow managing to hemorrhage nearly half its value before lunch. The top ten holders, clutching 57% of the circulating supply, have orchestrated what can only be described as a masterclass in coordinated exit velocity, leaving our remaining 183 believers to contemplate the true meaning of 'hodling.'
CAUSE OF DEATH
Rapid wealth concentration followed by gravitational collapse
EPITAPH
"Its hands were diamond, but its resolve was merely cubic zirconia."
