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Newborn Token Gasps Final Breath in Minutes

In nature, we observe a peculiar specimen: the Ape token, born mere hours ago, already decomposing at an alarming rate. Like a mayfly with commitment issues, it managed to evaporate 99.6% of its value before most investors finished their morning coffee. The nine remaining holders—clutching their worthless bags like mourners at a very stupid funeral—bear witness to what happens when mint authority revocation meets liquidity of zero.