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Robin Hood Robs Itself in Sixty Minutes

And thus we observe the majestic pump-and-dump in its most primordial form—a token born at dawn, blessed with revoked authorities and a mere seventeen thousand dollars in liquidity, yet somehow convinced itself it could fly. The 87% surge in twenty-four hours was not evolution, but rather the death throes of a creature that never should have been born, thrashing about in the shallow pools of retail desperation before the inevitable predation began.