CAUSE OF DEATH
Newborn Token Expires Before First Breath
Here we observe the wen token in its natural habitat: the moment of conception. Born mere hours ago with all the promise of a lottery ticket, it has already shed 52% of its value—a remarkable feat of self-destruction that would make evolution weep. Like a mayfly that discovered consciousness only to immediately regret it, this creature's journey from genesis to extinction appears to have taken approximately the length of a coffee break.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Extreme illiquidity coupled with catastrophic whale concentration
EPITAPH
"It came. It saw. It lost half its value. Wen? Now."