CAUSE OF DEATH
SpaceX Token: A Four-Hour Ascension Into Oblivion
Here we observe a peculiar specimen of the pump-and-dump variety, having achieved a staggering 1.9 million percent return in merely four hours—a feat as unsustainable as launching without fuel. The creature's brief existence reveals the telltale signs of a coordinated feeding frenzy: minimal liquidity relative to astronomical gains, a concentration of wealth among the apex predators, and a volume-to-liquidity ratio that would make even the most seasoned degenerate pause. One notes with dark fascination that the authorities were revoked, yet this precaution merely delayed the inevitable collapse rather than prevented it.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Exponential growth incompatible with biological reality
EPITAPH
"It burned so bright, so briefly, like a meteor with a Twitter account."
