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CAUSE OF DEATH

CR7 Scores Own Goal in Financial Theatre

In the waning hours of CR7's existence, we observe a specimen that achieved the remarkable feat of dying while technically alive—a zombie token shuffling through the Solana blockchain with all the vitality of a deflated football. With 99.3% of supply concentrated in merely ten wallets, the mathematics of manipulation proved as inevitable as gravity itself. Here lies a monument to the eternal human belief that celebrity branding and revoked authorities somehow constitute a business model.

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