CAUSE OF DEATH
Messiah Complex: A One-Hour Miracle
In the beginning, there was JESUS, and the market said 'let there be 218% gains.' But as we observe this newborn token, barely an hour old yet already commanding over half a million in volume, we witness the peculiar miracle of crypto—where divine intervention is indistinguishable from market manipulation. The creature has revoked its authorities, a paradoxical act of surrendering control while maintaining the very centralization that killed its predecessors.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Premature canonization before rigor mortis
EPITAPH
"He has risen... and fallen before brunch."
